The thing is, it’s a cycle.
You don’t know the reason behind the cycle,
but if you are going to observe it, there is.
For the past few months, you were doing good.
You thought you have finally became stable, okay;
ready to grab any optimism life has to offer.
You were so proud of yourself.
Then there’s this shift.
Slowly, or drastically,
it pulled you again to that pit,
that same pit you fought really hard to escape from.
But you’re at it again,
and this time you don’t know what to do.
It just swallows you.
You have no idea, there is no reason.
There is no clear reason.
You tried to talk to people, for normality’s sake, and it feels fake.
You don’t really feel like talking, but you have to at least try..
You can’t move, everything is forced.
At first, you thought it’s just a bad morning.
You just woke up on the wrong side of your bed.
Then it becomes a bad day.
Then you try to cheer yourself up,
you told yourself, tomorrow is another day.
Then the next day came, and you’re dragging yourself up again.
Then you hadn’t noticed it has been a month, it has been months.
You feel defeated without knowing what you are fighting against.
So you just wait…
With blank eyes, you wait.
Written in August, during the early days of the shift.
(Featured photo was from Pixabay.com)